Now that's some potent imagery - interesting how well you tweak and captivate the senses as a prod against society's desensitization. Each builds on the other, and the pace picks up, with rolling thunder to that stark, powerful conclusion. Good word choice, solid progression. I like it - though I don't like what it spells for, and picks up on, regarding our society...unfortunate reality, that.Thanks for linking up with One Shot, and for contributing such a fine piece. It's great to have you.
Whheeeww... that was darned vivid!! And so true more often than not.. .Excellent choice of words, Dasuntoucha... makes it all the more poignant and intense!
Really very good choice of words...and they speak volumes...Very well written :)
Very well written. Sad. Deep. Your writing whether it's romantic, violent, soulful or lusty is always strong and thought provoking. Thanks for always making me think.
"like a weathered tattoo on aging skin" I can definitely see this and the feelings it evokes. Very vivid as Kavita said.
Your a smart writer & at the end, you always get me thinking. <3 xo
As always, you never fail to affect, dasuntoucha :) I just have a question about your last few lines about the now generation. If that stands for the present generation, isn't that a bit sweeping, if not totally inaccurate, a statement? Considering that it is the older generation, presently in positions of power and influence, who are generally calling the shots, i.e., sending troops overseas and waging war left and right, legislating death sentences to our planet, flooding our collective consciousness with mind-numbing cultural trash, the works. To my mind, the vanguards of the now generation are trying to subvert the status quo and save their future. Just a thought :)
what fantastic imagery in this piece - an ugliness that seem to rest on a dusty shelf - wow - this is absolutely awesome. also like how the line breaks run - it's like i entered the poem and then it kept dragging me furhter and further. a highly enjoyable read
Truth seeker! I love it when poetry is dealing with tough subjects. The Vanguards are few in number compared to the dumbed-down majority. Poems like this one increase awareness and ultimately change the mass-sub-consciousness.
your words are deep..apt writing...Thanks for sharing...
Totally cool piece. The mean streets of D.C.Keep 'em coming.
Very sharp, sharp words and imagery. Heartwrenching and breaking.Powerful poem, with great effect.Lady Nyo
this is brutal and breathtaking. very powerful.
Such imagery! Love the font :)
This is my absolute favorite that I have read today. AMAZING. Seriously.Your talent rocks
Very creative, thought provoking writing here. Thanks for sharing. I'm sorry I couldn't get back to your blog earlier, thanks for visiting mine!I'd like to wish you Merry Christmas holidays and to say thank you for the support to Jingle Poetry, with you standing beside us, we are able to continue our efforts by providing the platform for poets who share and encourage...BEST wishes for the year 2011...your poetry has enlightened our community and made us smile.Blessings fly your way, Happy Holidays!http://jinglepoetry.blogspot.com/Hope to see you on Sunday Poetry Potluck again, let me know if you have questions..old poems or poems unrelated to our theme are welcome..week 15 theme: reflections, interpretations, and musings.Once again, cool poem, love the blog theme too!Take care!
how are you?let me know after you are done:#1: return favor to poets who are here,#2: commented for 18 poets NEW to you,Happy Saturday!Blessings!Thanks form the contribution!
I liked the tattoo part very much. A well crafted poem with vivid images. Good job.Thank you for dropping by my blog.
You use the most lovely words to fit your meaning. "wilted prayers splatter across the backdrop of a dilapidated paradise"From the awesome title to the powerful ending, this poem is superb.